In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
