you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
