Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I lost the right to judge tonight
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
