Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
