im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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