dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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