i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have post one night stand depression
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