between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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