from now on my penis is your penis
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
