everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
