In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
