where am i from again
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
