***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
