I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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