I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
