HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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