my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Enjoy the penises
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
