the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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