I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What a dumb baby whore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
