I'm really into asian looking animals
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
