): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
