My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize