I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
