Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
