Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
