Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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