Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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