you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
