i would punch a child for taco bell
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
