So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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