BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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