Please, let me fuck your mom
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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