well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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