he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
