Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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