How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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