Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
