I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
