She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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