my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
