Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
