I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
