my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
