I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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