They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
