i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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