I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
