If i come over, it means nothing
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
