Don't you send me to vm
how can u be prego again
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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