I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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