I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
