Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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