I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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