Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
