At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cannot find my penis.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
