she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
