literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
