just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
