New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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