I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
