I want you more than these girls want KFC
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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