so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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