So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
