Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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