The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
