Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
