I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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