I CAN MOONWALK!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
