Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize