as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
