dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
